From Larry Lincoln, MD; Tucson, AZ; Staff of the former Elisabeth Kubler Ross Center and The Externalization Workshops:
Written with a simple, direct and clear voice, By Grace of Mourning is an invitation to those who are afraid or have forgotten how to grieve. It is an example of the usefulness of " journaling" in the broadest sense of it; to take ownership of the deep relationship with those we have lost as well as with ourselves.
From Linda W.P., Elliot Lake, ONT: I have read the first part of your book - a heart-wrenching account of the love, pain, anger, sorrow; everything you experienced during that terrible trial with your Lindsay - impossible to put down as it is written with complete honesty, from the heart and soul. The September 15 date is especially significant to me as it was the day my own sister was born and supposedly died during the blitz of London in 1940. She was full term, 9 lbs and Mom heard her cry, yet never saw her, alive or dead. The official word was "stillborn," but Mom never believed it. Well, that story is part of the book I must dedicate myself to write before it is too late. I am looking forward to reading the rest of "By Grace of Mourning" as I know it will be a tremendous inspiration to me.
From J. Collins Meek III, B.Ed., M.Ed., PhD.: I am reading your book, By Grace of Mourning. I had not fully realized, of course, how utterly devastating it is for mothers to lose their infant child, so lovingly expected and cherished and hoped-to-grow-up with. I am heart-broken. Again. It brings up my many losses. I am full of tears, as usual, except perhaps more willing to shed them more fully. And this too shall pass. Or more accurately, never pass, but cease to be a burden and rather a gift. Thank you (and Grace) for writing this.
From Paul Byrne, MB, FRCPC, Clinical Professor Pediatrics U of Alberta, Staff Neonatologist Stollery Children's Hospital, Edmonton, AB.: This book is a searing account of one mother's experience of the birth of her premature baby, the subsequent struggles to save the baby's life in the NICU, and the heartbreak of her infant daughter's death. The book describes in vivid realistic detail the ordeal that both parents and baby Lindsay went through during the days and weeks of intensive care in the NICU. The descriptions offer a profound insight into the anguish of new parents in the NICU environment. These are essential reading for physicians and nurses caring for high risk pregnant women and their newborn infants, as well as parents and families who have gone through a similar story. The book also describes the author's spiritual odyssey resulting from the loss of her baby. This mother's extraordinary love for her baby and the gut-wrenching descriptions of her loss give health care professionals a unique view of the consequences of NICU care and underline the necessity for humanity and compassion in the clinical encounter.
From Rachel Robbins, Winnipeg, MB: I'm half way through your book. You are an AMAZINGLY INCREDIBLE writer! I am so moved! Interestingly, I probably wouldn't have ordered a copy had I known the topic as I haven't had this experience myself and feel I need uplifting topics to read about these days. I can't put it down and in spite of the horror and the reality and the pain of it all, it has me by the throat and hasn't pulled me down at all, but instead, I think, it is uplifting me. Your quotes and poems and letters are all so powerful and moving and healing. Thank you; thank you!
From Eveline L. Kaybidge: When I read your book, I was reminded of my mother's transition almost 5 years ago at age 93.There are STILL moments I feel sadness when I think of her, yet I accept these feelings (as in Eckhart Tolle's book A New Earth)There are reminders: someone looks like her or makes a comment about her, and my tears pour out. I must not question tears; let them pour! Everyone needs time to process their own sadness. Grief expressed in the moment is important. If we don't, our pain seems to cling to our body and will be expressed somehow later in less pleasant forms! It doesn't go AWAY; it has to be experienced and given a chance to heal before it can be left behind. Mourning is difficult to share with people who have no emotions or compassionate reaction. I admire the doctors and nurses in your story who had a natural, vulnerable reaction to what was happening. Lindsay was a gift, and your writing a selfless way of sharing so that others might benefit.
From Nancy Mullins, MA, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Staff of the former Elisabeth Kubler Ross Center and The Externalization workshops, Kansas City KS/San Diego CA:In the midst of a young mother's anguish at the loss of her child, there is courage and hope. In profound and beautiful letters and poems to her baby, she pours out her love and grief, her guilt, apologies, pain and rage. As her heart is broken open, she finds the faith and grace to look back on her baby's life and death not with sadness, bitterness, or failure, but with a sense of awe at the sacred meaning of life and death. This is a story that will touch the hearts of all grieving parents and grandparents, the people who love them, and all the physicians, nurses, and social workers who deliver their skill with great kindness and sensitivity. "By Grace of Mourning" is an exceptionally moving, poignant, and inspiring journey. It is a testimony to the strength of a human spirit.
From Megan Bronson, APRN, BC, Psychiatric mental health clinical nurse specialist in private practise, Trauma consultant: Institute for Trauma and Loss in Children, Detroit, MI, EMDR therapist, staff of the former Elisabeth Kubler Ross Center, author: Helping Children to Heal the Effects of Loss and Trauma After Burn Injury: a guide for parents and caregivers:‘The death of a baby or child is a profound and deeply painful loss and often traumatic for parents, grandparents, siblings, friends and family. The journey of healing after such a loss is unique to each individual parent and family and the call to deeper healing requires commitment, tenacity, support, and most of all grace. “By Grace of Mourning” chronicles the personal journey of Corry Roach and her family after the death of their baby daughter, Lindsay. The sharing of their journey through painful grief and their movement toward healing, renewed hope, meaning, and reclaiming life will be helpful to families as well as caregivers.’
From Shannon Kelly; Eastern Passage, N.S.: 'I know in my heart that your story will reach others and inspire them as it has inspired me. Thank you for writing so openly and honestly and revealing yourself through your journey. There is so much strength in your willingness to be vulnerable. Thank you for sharing the true heart of the matter.'
From Robert Sasson MD, Pediatrician-Kids First-Newtown; Founder: Enrich Bucks County; Clinical Associate Professor, University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine: 'By Grace of Mourning is the chronicle of one very special woman's journey from a place of pain so deep and a Love so strong that it led her to a lifetime mission to aid others in their quest to understand some of life's most heart rendering moments. Corry Roach RN has dedicated her life to the support of families with very ill newborns. She has been instrumental in fostering major innovations in the delivery of health care to high risk newborns, and to the development of support services to those grieving families who've been deprived of the joy of taking their babies home.'
From Susan Apollon, Psychologist, Author: Touched by the Extraordinary: An Intuitive Psychologist Shares Insights, Lessons and True Stories to Transform and Heal the Soul; Yardley,PA: By Grace of Mourning, written by Corry Roach, is a must read if you have suffered any kind of loss, and specifically so if the loss is a child. Written by a nurse and grief specialist, this book has the power to touch your soul. It provides you with the comfort, support, validation of your feelings and understanding that come only from one who has also lost her child.
Corry Roach, who is gifted with the ability to convey her wisdom and feelings with pure elegance, writes the poignant and touching story of her own journey. Integrating inspirational quotes, heartwarming prose in the form of letters to her daughter, Lindsay, and on-target and exceptionally well written poetry, she chronicles her transformative journey from devastation to healing.
In By Grace of Mourning, your heart is deeply moved by the words Corry Roach used to describe the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual toll of her baby's death on her body, mind and spirit. She normalizes the types of reactions to such a loss, while giving you a glimpse of the impact of the loss on family members, including her husband and young daughter, Brandi, as well as on her marriage. Her choice of words is so powerful that you can palpably experience her suffering, feelings of powerlessness, rage and devastation.
The later chapters are especially valuable because it it here that we are given hope--hope that our energy will return, that we will again be able to live a relatively normal life, and that those connections with our loved one will continue.
As a grief specialist, I have been frequently told by grieving patients who have lost a child that their best consolation is that which comes from others who have suffered similar pain. By Grace of Mourning is certain to be a primer for grieving parents. Corry Roach's words and her energy represent a "Voice" for so many in similar situations. Most importantly, she reminds us all that transformation and healing after loss are possible.
From Susan Nault, Psychologist; Toronto, ONT: 'By Grace of Mourning speaks of the courage and tremendous love of a mother who lost her daughter to a terminal illness. Every parent who's struggled to relieve their children's pain can relate to Corry. It speaks to the gift that her young daughter brought to this world...Lindsay's short life was not in vain. She inspired her mother who has since devoted her life to helping those in times of grief. Indeed, God does work in mysterious ways...'
From William E. Hablitzel, MD, Author: Dying Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me; Stories of Healing and Wisdom Along Life's Journey; CT: 'Just as the dawn always follows the darkest part of the night, By Grace Of Mourning reminds us that life's most difficult challenges can lead us to our deepest understanding of the mysteries of life. It is a journey that takes us into the Light.'
From Anita Bergen, Author: Life and Other Options, Atlanta,GA: 'Grief is a time of deep sorrow, pain and disorientation, the coming to terms with the loss of a loved one. Grief is also a journey, not a destination--a non voluntary, often evolutionary voyage to the center of our being. In By Grace of Mourning, author Corry Roach is a compassionate guide and teacher, sharing her personal passage through grief and her ensuing growth and transformation. This volume is a treasure chest of personal insights, perceptions and discoveries...a heart warming, soul wrenching and inspiring trip through the passage of grief.'
From Rev Drs Jeni and Rick Prigmore, Founders: Universal Brotherhood Movement, Inc.,GA: 'NO DOUBT, there ARE Angels among us; those with and without wings! We feel and see their shining examples and assistances in various ways as we walk the Earth life.
Any time we, as readers of works such as By Grace of Mourning, have the opportunity to be touched by these special beings in some way, all of humanity, indeed the whole planet is blessed and inspired.
Thank you so much for your tireless effort and devotion to the task of bringing stories of these special ones to our attention.'